CHARACTER SURVEY

[beleos]

CHARACTER SURVEY

Because one of the goals of Kenos is to give characters unique, compelling reasons to both show loyalty to their faction and to question it, it’s helpful to get to know them better! While filling out this survey isn’t required, it’s highly recommended! How else can we effectively torment or reward your blorbo if we don’t know what they hate/love? ♥

Just fill out the survey below and post it to this entry! We recommend commenting in such a way that you'll be able to come back and update this survey throughout the game. As their desires change, this survey can evolve!

SURVEY

Character Name(s): Include all names they've gone by
Series: Self-Explanatory!
Wiki Link: If one exists, put a wiki link for your character here

THE GOOD

How far would they go to accomplish their goals or fulfill their desires? Do they have lines they wouldn't cross?
In as little or as much detail as you want.

What is something they treasure?
Or someone. This can be something material like a precious heirloom, or can be more vague like "honesty".

What do they consider to be their best or most positive qualities?
In as little or as much detail as you want. You may also consider adding what others percieve them to be if the character is particularly self-loathing.

What is this character's best memory?
In as little or as much detail as you want. You can also link to scene(s) in canon if you want and are able.

Is there anyone they have highly positive feelings towards?
If so, describe them, link to wiki pages, say if it's another character or NPC in the game, etc.


THE BAD

What could or would tempt your character to compromise their principles?
In as little or as much detail as you want.

What do they desire above all else?
In as little or as much detail as you want. This can be something material like a MacGuffin from their canon, or can be more general like "world domination".

What are their biggest fear and/or insecurities?
In as little or as much detail as you want.

What is this character's worst memory?
In as little or as much detail as you want. You can also link to scene(s) in canon if you want and are able.

Is there anyone they have highly negative feelings towards?
If so, describe them, link to wiki pages, say if it's another character or NPC in the game, etc.


THE ET CETERA

What kinds of gifts does your character like?
Do they like chocolates? Flowers? A new car with a big red bow?

What item(s) would your character be pleased to receive as a reward?
Special weapons, a precious trinket, etc. List as many things as you want here, since this a pool where "free" AC rewards will be pulled from. Bold any that are particularly notable to the character or that you, the player, want OOC

What item(s) would your character never ask for, but you, the player, would want to give them?
If applicable. This is a free-for-all section for joke items.

OOC, what are your goals with this character? What would you enjoy seeing them getting involved in or would enjoy as a potential character arc?
Does your character strongly believe in one of the faction's promises? Did they get involved in a plot that they're now very invested in pushing to completion? Do you want a corruption arc for them? Or do they just want to become the newest local druglord? While not required, we strongly recommend giving this section thought, since this can be a helpful way for the mods to give you more customized AC Rewards, plot hooks, etc.

<b>Character Name(s)</b>: <b>Series</b>: <b>Wiki Link</b>: <a href=>Here</a> <u><b><big>THE GOOD</big></b></u> <b>How far would they go to accomplish their goals or fulfill their desires? Do they have lines they wouldn't cross?</b> <b>What is something they treasure?</b> <b>What do they consider to be their best or most positive qualities?</b> <b>What is this character's best memory?</b> <b>Is there anyone they have highly positive feelings towards?</b> <u><b><big>THE BAD</big></b></u> <b>What could or would tempt your character to compromise their principles?</b> <b>What do they desire above all else?</b> <b>What are their biggest fear and/or insecurities?</b> <b>What is this character's worst memory?</b> <b>Is there anyone they have highly negative feelings towards?</b> <u><b><big>THE ET CETERA </big></b></u> <b>What kinds of gifts does your character like?</b> <b>What item(s) would your character be pleased to receive as a reward?</b> <b>What item(s) would your character never ask for, but you, the player, would want to give them?</b> <b>OOC, what are your goals with this character? What would you enjoy seeing them getting involved in or would enjoy as a potential character arc?</b>

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[epiprocta]

THE BAD

What could or would tempt your character to compromise their principles?

Well … he doesn’t really have a lot of principles in the first place. But one of the things he treasures most is his connection to his most valued people — and he would rather corrupt those connections and hurt the people he values, rather than lose his connection to them.

The type to be deeply fear losing touch with his loved ones (probably at least in part due to his mother divorcing his father when he was very young and then, by all appearances, just straight-up ditching him), Gen is absolutely desperate to maintain some sort of connection with his most valued people, even if that connection is deeply unhealthy. And while Gen largely wishes to be a “good(ish) person” who protects the people he likes, he will flip on a dime and hurt them instead if he believes it’s the only way to maintain some connection to them — he would rather be actively hated than be forgotten.

What do they desire above all else?

closes eyes, Gen desperately wishes to be at peace with himself … specifically, to no longer be ‘himself, as he is now.’

While Gen seems to have harbored some issues with self-loathing from a young age due to growing up closeted, he truly began to hate himself after a severe hit of trauma began to warp his personality in ways that he couldn’t prevent or fix. Sharply self-aware of the ways in which he’s changed, but both unable to and not permitted to undo that damage, Gen truly loathes himself as he is now. In his heart of hearts, Gen most wishes for the ability to claw back some of his lost sense of self and be at peace with himself.

In a simple sense, Gen wishes fervently for a “redo” — to be able to go back to how he was in his younger days, especially to those few moments when he’d been able to be happy. In a bleaker sense, Gen would settle for clawing back some of his dignity by dying with a loved one — that way, he would no longer have to exist as himself, but having the proof that someone still loves him enough to die with him would be more than enough to push him past his fundamental loneliness and fear of dying. And though Gen isn’t able to specifically picture other ways in which he could escape the reality of being himself, that desire of his could probably be sated in any number of ways; any courses of action that would truly permit him to become something he doesn’t find so repulsive would be highly tempting to him.

What are their biggest fear and/or insecurities?

His biggest fear is having to endure his demons alone for the rest of his life. Or, god forbid, that he becomes something even more warped but still has to continue living as himself.

Having been burdened with an intense dose of trauma and guilt when he was younger (more on this right below), then told that he was to chain himself to that trauma for the rest of his life ("Guard this [grave] for the rest of your life," his father told him), Gen has steeled himself for a lifetime of festering with his sins, existing as someone he hates. However, between that heavy burden, the fact that he’s always had his future defined for him, and the way he increasingly dislikes what he’s become, Gen genuinely dreads having to face the future. And while the destruction of his homeworld has at least freed him from his preset career path, his mindset of his future being something immutable that he needs to 'tolerate' remains consistent.

Though Gen feels he could weather his circumstances if even one of his most treasured people would be by his side in the future, he doesn’t believe it’s likely to happen — he knows he’s becoming something loathsome that increasingly repulses the people most important to him. He would also settle for simply dying and finding peace in that grim way, but he’s ultimately afraid of dying alone and unloved, wanting to die in the company of someone he treasures — which he knows is also a wish he’s unlikely to have fulfilled. As a result, Gen deeply fears the prospect of having to face his future ultimately alone, even as he steels himself for it regardless.

What is this character's worst memory?

There are two:

1) TW: violent child abuse and … god, how do I say this, (non-explicit and indirect, but still) sexual content involving an adult and a minor

When Reiji’s mother, Yuko, forced Gen to witness Reiji being violently abused.

When Gen was 11, Yuko made him hide in a tiny closet with her, where Gen was made to watch through a hole in the closet door as Reiji was being violently beaten by his father, with Yuko further egging him on to protect her and Reiji. In that highly claustrophobic environment — the heat of two people crammed into a tiny, cramped space; the press of Yuko’s sweaty skin against his back and the way she spoke in his ear; the ramped-up emotions as Reiji continued to cry and scream outside the closet — all of the stimulation and stress was too much for him to handle. Gen ended up having his first ejaculation in that situation.

Though that physiological reaction was almost certainly due to the stress and the physical stimulation (and it’s unclear if Yuko was purposefully gunning for this specific reaction), it’s still one of Gen’s most traumatic memories, as well as being a tremendous source of shame and self-disgust for him. Though he’d already been ashamed of any romantic or sexual feelings he’d felt for Reiji, after this incident, Gen ended up harboring a great deal of reflexive anger towards Reiji for indirectly causing him such shame, even as he continued to love Reiji as a friend. In other words — it caused a whole bunch of crossed wires for him, and Gen is well aware of the fact that something in him became irreparably damaged in that moment.

2) TW: blood, violence

His memories of murdering Kurose Reiji's (step)father back when he was 11 years old.

Shortly after the above incident, when Reiji had been beaten unconscious and Reiji’s father stepped into the bathroom to wash off the blood, Gen attacked him with a kitchen knife, partly out of shame (see above) and partly out of a desire to protect Reiji and Yuko. The incident ended up leaving Gen with severe emotional scars and has irreversibly altered the course of his life; he dwells on the incident heavily, and being forced to keep it secret to himself for years has only worsened Gen's recollection of it.

Of note is the fact that Gen has suppressed a portion of his memories of this event due to their especially traumatic nature. His assault on Reiji’s father, though vicious, was not enough to kill the man immediately. Instead, he was made to listen to Reiji’s father slowly dying, in pain, begging for help, while Yuko casually washed the blood off of him. Gen has no memory of these events, and simply believes that he killed Reiji’s father outright; he won’t recall these memories without some sort of trigger or reminder, and they’d cause a pretty severe reaction if he did remember them.

Is there anyone they have highly negative feelings towards?

Canon:

Kurose Yuko is someone that Gen truly admired and adored in his childhood. Originally just someone that he knew as “my best friend’s mom, and the woman my dad crushed on before,” he admired her for her bewitchingly radiant presence, partially aspiring to be like her when he was still daring to question his gender/sexuality. However, as he grew closer to Reiji, and when he was still very young and acclimating to his mother having divorced his father and left him behind, Yuko offered to be a surrogate mother to him, and it left a big impression on him. She was probably the adult who showed him the most affection during his formative years. As a result, Gen came to truly love her and looked to her as an idol, a surrogate mother figure, and someone to protect. When he killed Reiji's father it was in part also because the man was abusive towards Yuko and he wanted to protect her as well as Reiji.

However, their relationship's since grown very warped. Though Yuko initially promised to protect Gen (TW: blood) right after the murder, and he must have found some comfort in it, he's since come to see Yuko for the Machiavellian, manipulative, possessive person she is; though he might not put it in such stark terms, he’s aware that Yuko essentially groomed him to be her and Reiji’s “hero.” The two of them have slowly become co-conspirators in keeping Reiji trapped in town and preventing him from leaving, though Gen has a few more reservations about what they're doing than she does. For the most part, Gen serves as and is aware of his role as Yuko's pawn and (NSFW, nudity, suggestive imagery) attack dog. He's definitely come to resent her due to this complicated relationship, especially since he knows to blame her for Reiji becoming the mess that he is now. But at the same time, some part of him still loves and idolizes her, since he still gets very agitated when his father insinuates she's better off dead, and he depends on her for guidance on how to keep Reiji in his life.

In short, he rationally knows that she’s a terrible person and that both he and Reiji would probably be better off with her dead, but he still can’t sever his attachments to her.

In-game CR:

In terms of people Gen's come to have intense negative feelings towards since getting isekaied:

- Kim Dokja is a man Gen encountered soon after arrival to Horos, who almost immediately made an impression by asking Gen to kill him, unwittingly swinging a bat at the hornet's nest that is Gen's memories of Reiji asking for death by his hands. They've since clashed several times in various ways (most notably: Gen did kill Dokja, losing his left arm in the process), which hasn't done much to temper Gen's hatred for Dokja. Though mutual acquaintances and some less-combative encounters have complicated his feelings somewhat, Gen still considers Dokja someone that he hates on a fundamental level. Dokja, in his eyes, is someone pitiful, self-loathing, needy and insufferable, who nonetheless is surrounded by people who cares about him, and yet is intensely ungrateful for those blessings that he has in shamelessly wishing for death and then changing his mind about it; Gen cannot forgive the fact that Dokja has so much, and yet would still be so (seemingly) unappreciative of it. Although ...

- Newly, and rather sadly, Gen has decided that the top of his shitlist is headed by Liem, for the simple crime of refusing to give him Reiji's shard when he demanded it. (Liem, in his defense, was under the influence of fae food, but Gen neither knows more cares.) On a basic level, Gen is immediately hateful of anyone who would get between him and Reiji. However, there's also a little nuance to this in that Liem is one of the few people that Gen saw as a reasonable adult figure who, while boring and stuffy, could probably be relied on as "an adult". The fact that Liem, who he was starting to trust in that way, metaphorically slammed the door shut in his face by holding his dearest person's shard hostage, is something Gen considers a deeply personal betrayal, even if he wouldn't know to put it in such terms.